Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Create Every Day

My anxiety over New Year's Resolutions led me to forget something I need to add to my list:

4. Create Every Day

I know a truth about myself, that is hard to admit -- if I don't do this, I wither. It's happened before -- that's how I know it's true.

A few years ago, I struggled to be happy. I had trials that were hard to carry, and they weighed me down. I felt so tired, and so alone. I spent many hours on my knees pleading for answers. "Please help me find my way. Help me to be happy," I asked over and over. I had to wait a long time, but the answers eventually did come -- in an unexpected way.

It was Autumn. Temecula had just recovered from its annual heat wave. The air was cooling down and the days were getting shorter. At church we were preparing for Women's Conference. Twice a year, leaders from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints speak to it's member women all round the world via satellite broadcast from Salt Lake City. It was that time again, something I really look forward to. This particular year, however, I didn't want to go. I was tired, and sad. But, somehow I managed. I went out of obedience. And perhaps, I was also motivated by the knowledge that there was going to be a great meal afterwards -- my friends were in the church kitchen cooking, and I could smell deliciousness as I sat down in the chapel. The meeting began and I remember fiddling around with my church bag just as I heard these words by President Dieter F. Uchtdorf. I stopped and looked at the screen hanging from the rafters. His voice was kind, and powerful and I felt as if he was speaking directly to me -- Heavenly Father's words answering my pleas. I cried as I listened.

I will never forget this moment. It reminded me that I am a daughter of a Heavenly Father, who loves me, and that I am not alone in my journey on this Earth. I went home renewed. That month, I listened to the counsel of President Uchtdorf and made time every day to create. And in doing so, the fog lifted. I felt happiness, and a deep satisfaction in using my hands to make something beautiful. I now know that this need to create is something essential. I need it like I need water. It helps me through trials big and small. I know it has helped others too. Women who have survived breast cancer, women who have suffered loss. They have shared their stories with me, and I am grateful for them. They too remind me of the importance of creating ... every day. So I'm adding it to my list of resolutions because it is not yet a habit, and, it's important.
.
I listened to President Uchtdorf's talk again today, because it is a new year after all. I cried, just like the first time. The words still have power, and they always will. I think I'm going to make this a January tradition. If you would like to listen this inspiring talk, click on the link below -- scroll down to the bottom and select: Happiness, Your Heritage -- on the right hand side of the screen, click on "watch": http://www.lds.org/conference/sessions/display/0,5239,49-1-947,00.html
.
You'll be glad you did. Really..... you'll be glad you did.

4 comments:

Kim said...

Hi Crystal
I have been reading your blog since SPARK, but I think this is the 1st time I have commented...love that talk...felt the same feeling in my little church house here in the midwest :)
I have been thinking about you and the Cassandra Barney print you bought at SPARK...I loved it! I would love to know where you ended up hanging it in your home. Also love your jewelry....but have never purchased from Etsy...so I think you will be my 1st purchase!
Love all your stuff...keep up the creative:)
Kim

Rosie said...

I think that it is amazing that so many of us had the exact same experience when that talk was given. I have it on my ipod and listen to it often-I think that it has been slowly creaping into my subconcious--enough that I want it to be my battle cry. I want to feel creative and I want to help other people feel creative.

I loved looking at all the lovely things that you have been making--I am hoping that I will be able to start trying some new things--I am like you-I am better when I do.

dandee said...

Powerful words spoken by an inspired man of God. That day and that talk changed the way I look at my desire to create. It's not just a hobby, it's who I am. I was born to create.

Wishful Nals said...

i love this resolution! great blog(s)!