Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Alias

One of the things I really enjoy whilst driving around my neighborhood is looking at the custom license plates. I like to look for them when I'm on a long road trip too. Sometimes I make a game out of it and write them down. There are three plates in my neighborhood that make me smile. My kids and I hunt for them on a regular basis. I used to see them often parked outside of the elementary school:




Foxybabe
Rikslady
Nowgit

Every time I see the vehicles that sport these plates (all big trucks), I wonder about the women at the wheel and the men who love them. Obviously, husbands or boyfriends gave the plates as a gift to the women they adore. I know very few women who would spend that kind of money on a license plate. I mean, that's the price of a facial..... am I right??

Up until recently, I had never seen the occupants of these vehicles... all have tinted windows. But, the other day, I did. I saw Foxybabe! And you know.... I can see why her significant other gave her the plates. She's a beautiful woman. She must know it too because she's confident enough to drive around in a truck that says Foxybabe.

Rickslady.... is it reasonable to assume that wants the world to know his gal is taken? She must be glad to know her man loves her that much.

But what about Nowgit???? I think she's someone I would rather not mess with. I picture someone like Granny Clampet behind the wheel -- someone who wants people to get out of the way. Someone who owns a shot gun and knows how to use it! There's even a sticker of a guard dog on the bumper of her truck. I'm a little frightened of Nowgit! She gets the credit for inspiring these thoughts -- she zoomed past me today while driving home from the high school. Dust flew in her wake, let me tell you. I look forward to the day that I see Nowgit open her car door. I bet there's a woman inside that looks nothing like the person in my imagination. She's probably soft spoken with long flowing hair and a sweet disposition.

I learned a lesson a few years ago about giving custom plates as a gift. They are very personal. DON'T DO IT if your man is a car lover. It will break his heart and rob him of the opportunity of creating his own alias. Trust me on this one. A few years ago, I gave Matt a license plate for Valentine's Day. It said "Mattsmni" -- (He drives a red Mini Cooper). I thought he would love it. I thought he would jump up and down and say "Wow, how did you know!!!" When I presented him with a DMV envelope (which you need to claim your plates), his shoulders slumped and he said "thanks." But, I know Matt well enough to know when he has to eek out a "thanks", the "thanks" is not sincere. I knew right then and there he would never pick up those plates, or put them on his car. I had crossed the gift giving line.

About 6 months later, I saw a red Mini driving down the street with plates that said "Recoopn." I thought to myself: "Hey cool. Matt would like that." Guess who was at the wheel of the red Mini. Unbeknownst to me, my husband had taken matters into his own hands and created his car identity. Recoopn ...... much more manly than Matsmni. I later learned that Recoopn was a second choice -- "CooprMan" was already taken.

I also learned the reason why my gift was not acceptable -- it contained his name. "It's dangerous when people know your name.... I don't want people hunting me down!" was Matt's excuse. Bah, Humbug is all I have to say to that!! Rick's Lady is doing just fine and so is Rick... I've seen his male profile through the tinted windows. But then again, maybe it's because Rickslady is attached to a huge truck. Maybe Mini Coopers have to be extra careful because even though they are fast, they can pretty much be demolished by a menacing gang of Vespas. Maybe Matt is right.

I confess that I secretly have always wanted a custom license plate. But the dilemma is.... what would it say??? It changes day to day as I'm in my car. Today it would say "Tired." One of these days though, I'm going to come up with something really good like Nowgit! I really don't want to leave the job to Matt, even if he loves cars more than me because I know the outcome would be dismal (sort of like me choosing Matsmni.) I wouldn't be getting a plate that says "Matslady" (which would embarrass me to tears, I'm sorry to say). My plate would say something like:

DABDGER.... as in "the Badger."

Remind me to tell you that story sometime.

4 comments:

Kim said...

I love your posts....that make my day. I once saw a license plate that said:
greatfl.
I loved it and told my hubby about it and he thought i was talking about the grateful dead...

Maria said...

Great post!! I'll have to tell Stan that story. I drove by your house Saturday and saw Matt out working on a car. I had to smile because I had just left Stan at home doing the same thing.

toocoolisoms said...

Garth and I used to have plates that said "GEARNS" and "JSPENDS" since he runs the job and I pay the bills/paperwork. It sure made it easy for my kids to spot the suburban in the sea of suburbans where we used to live. I kind of miss them...maybe Valentine's Day? ;-)

Lyndsay said...

Wes's says Cineman. :)

In AZ it was WJP (for Wes Johnson Photo).

Before that it was Hygge (which is a Danish word that no one in America can pronounce. It sounds like "Hooga"... kind of. BAD choice. Good thing he came to his senses.)