Thursday, April 15, 2010

Celebration -- I Think.




All hail April 15th, 2010 -- the day I turn 51.


I have a confession: Having a birthday on April 15th is not the greatest. I don't like sharing my birthday with Income Tax Day or the anniversary of the sinking of the Titanic. Both of those events are grim at best -- unless you are getting money back on your tax return. Or, you are Eden -- who loves anything that has to do with the Titanic.

Today I am officially old. I'm no longer new at being 50, I'm in my 50's. Do you know what happens when you are in your 50's -- AARP starts sending you magazines and weekly letters. Matt doesn't get letters from AARP. That's because he is 49 .... not old. Plus, you pee your pants if you laugh to hard. I've had to start carrying a spare pair of pants in my car. (Maybe that's too much information, but I don't care, because it's my birthday and I can say anything I want.)
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How did AARP find me anyway? I want my name taken off their list. Even though I'm over 50, my spirit is 30 -- and it plans to stay there. I don't need AARP insurance or AARP friends thank you very much! I have friends who are 40 for heaven's sake! (But they are thirty on the inside, just like me.)
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Although I have accepted the fact that I'm old, I'm shocked when I hear myself say: "I'm 51." If you think turning 30 was hard, try saying that -- "I'm 51." It will shend shivers up your spine, just you wait. Even more shocking is looking in the mirror. Shivers...definate shivers. You don't have chorister arms when you are 30,or gray whiskers (which, by the way, differs from facial hair). Nor do you suffer from hot flashes. In fact, my head is sweating right now because it knows that it just turned 51. And what is doubly unfair is that I still get acne. How many people do you know over 50 who still break out? (Maybe it's because I'm still 30 on the inside.) I have a tip for you though so that you will be prepared when you cross over the bridge from young to old: Don't look at yourself up close in the mirror. Stand back. Waaaaaaaaay back. Everyone looks great at a distance.
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Sixty must be a real doozer! And 80 . . . I don't dare think about that one. When you are 80 you are REALLY old. You won't need a mirror when you are 80. You can say whatever you think, even if it's rude, and wear whatever you want. But ... sometimes you have to get fisety to ensure that people don't treat you like a frail baby. The 80 year-olds I know are anything but frail. They hike and ski and ride bikes. One of them even drives a sporty yellow Fiero. They are 30 on the inside too, which gives me hope. I want to be just like them when I grow up.
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Fifty-one ..... how did this happen to me? (Sigh.....)
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I think I need a cupcake. Maybe I need two.

17 comments:

Angie said...

Happy Birthday! I hope you have a great one!

Jenni said...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Nanette said...

I will still wish you a Happy Birthday because despite what age you are, it is a day to celebrate yourself.
If it helps at all, I'm 30 and have Relief Society Arms and AARP sends me a magazine every so often...I really have no idea how they find you. If you figure it out, let me know.
Maybe today calls for two cupcakes?

Kelly said...

Following! Happy B-day!

Rachel said...

Hope you have a wonderful birthday - you make me laugh!

Lanie Ree said...

Happy birthday. This post made me smile.

Shanny said...

Happy Birthday!

And, if it makes you feel better, my husband gets AARP stuff in the mail all the time. He's 28. So, I think they are just confused folks.

Puttin' Down Roots said...

Yay!! Happy Birthday! Birthdays are to be celebrated. And fifty is just a number. You don't look a day over 29!! If it makes you feel any better, I turn 40 this year and my baby is only 5 yrs old.

I hope you are getting spoiled today!

Daphenie said...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!! I LOVE reading your blog. It makes me laugh til I pee a little--whoops--I must be over 40!!

Jordi said...

Happy Birthdcay!

Natasha said...

Happy Birthday! I hope it was great!

tarynn said...

At least you have one thing to look forward to on tax day! Happy bday!

tarynn said...

I'm already a follower

tarynn said...

I want to try the artichoke soup and the lake powell chicken salad!

SLP said...

Happy Birthday!
The best part is: you don't look it:)

Heidi said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Heidi said...

Happy belated birthday Miss Crystal! And I'm turning 50 this year...egads...I didn't realize how old I was until it dawned on me that my son turns 30 this year! And yes those AARP emails have been coming in and they just get filed in the junk box. I'm just not ready for those right now!