Wednesday, June 2, 2010

What They Don't Know Won't Hurt Them

My family doesn't read my blog. Ever. Unless I make them. It's probably a good thing because I really don't want to hear complaints about what I say, the pictures I take, or how lame I am when I try to be funny. In other words, I don't need family critics. I figure that they will all read when I'm dead and gone. Then they will be thrilled to have my words, and get teary-eyed when they see that I really did have their best interests at heart when I followed them around with a camera. They might even say 'Mom was so funny .... and so wise." (Mother's can have dreams, can't they?)

Last night, Matt read my Manly Man post. He said 'Why in the world would you post that awful photo of me. At the very least you could have touched it up and given me some hair!'

My response: 'Matt, I did touch it up. I removed all your wrinkles, shaved off some of your eyebrows and added hair! I just didn't want to go overboard and offend you, or make you look like someone on the cover of People magazine who's had way too much Botox."

Matt said: 'I dont want a little hair. Give me some HAIR! Thick full hair, like Elvis in his glory days!'

I'm a little disturbed that Matt has been admiring Elvis' hair. I always thought he admired the likes of Sean Connery -- bald, or that he would go for someone recent, like John Mayer. He has pretty good hair, even if he his behavior is creepy.

Well, I listened to his plea. Here you go Matt. The hair of your dreams -- straight from the King.

I think I'm going to give this to him for Father's Day -- he will appreciate the humor. I might even frame it and hang it in my family room for a spell.

Doesn't he look like he's selling Swanson TV dinners in a 1960's television commercial!


Jenni said...

HA! That is too funny!

Genevieve said...

Very funny. My fam reads but never comment--like, really? and then when I figure I'll stop blogging everyone is on my case to keep posting. Make up your minds!!! :)

Rosie said...

This cracked me up! My family mostly doesn't read mine. However it seems that the time I complain or am absent someone notices. My oldest is the only child rhat occasionally reads. She gets funny if I haven't mentioned her or put pictures af her and have the others! I am not registered for spark yet. I would still like to but I haven't b een able to afford it. Too many kids and medical expenses. It makes me sad-i hope it works out but weel you know how it goes sometimes.

lady lee said...


Angie said...

This is seriously fantastic! Chris has my blog on his reader...his comments include, "This would be funny, but I was there." and "I hate it when you only post pictures of jewelry." The girls don't read the blog (yet), but in real life they say to me, "Mom. Do NOT post this on the blog."

Sra. Lasko said...

You are hysterical! Love it!

kiddle97 said...

This was awesome. Hands down, funniest post I've read today.