Sunday, September 26, 2010

Take the Wheel Chef Boyardee

I am done driving the chuck wagon.  I really am.  Last night, I threw in the towel.  I've decided that I do not enjoy cooking for kids. 

Do. Not. 

Which is sad really, because in my heart I'm a "wanna be" Food Network star.   Sometimes I practice when no one is home.

Over the past 15 years, my dreams have been dwindling because of the likes of this:

"What is that stuff????? I looks like sewage."

"I don't like my foooood to touchhhh!"

"Why are you making homemade rolls?  We like Pillsbury!"

"You put ketchup on my plate, I haaaaaate ketchup!"

"Why can't you just be a normal mom and make Kraft Macaroni and Cheese?"

"This tastes like a Barbie doll dunked in chlorine." (My daughter actually said that to me. It's a classic quote at our house now.)

This week my refrigerator was stocked with leftover goodness -- scones, chocolate trifle, flank steak, chicken crepes, fruit, lemon curd . . . you name it, it was in there.

But, every time someone opened the refrigerator door, I heard

"Maaaaaan, when are you going to the store, there's NOTHING to eat in here!"

I give up.   It's time to start buying cans.  Lots and lots of cans.


kiddle97 said...

I'm so glad I'm not the only one, although, your food sounds delicious, whereas I know mine is very sub-par. As much as I pretend to have my own cooking show, I know it'd never happen. Part of being a Food Network star is to have good camera presence and a lot of fun tips, but you also have to have recipes that taste good. Mine wouldn't.

Karen Tapahe said...

I don't like to cook since I'm not very good at it and many of my attempts have been ridiculed by my children. I love your daughter's comment! It reminded me of when my older son tried to explain why he was being mean to the girl next door and he said, "It's like the Vietnam War, Mom."

Jenni said...

i will come over to eat at your house any time! seems that all we have time to eat is fast food and whatever we can make super quick - yuck, and not to mention so very unhealthy.

on that note, we always want what we don't have. for instance, growing up i craved home cooked meals, because we ate out all the time or out of those famous cans. if that is all your kids ate all the time, i am sure that they would be craving your home cooked meals more often!

and...your comment about wanting to be a food network star, had me giggling! my husband does too - he watches those shows endlessly, now if he would only apply what he watched more often! teehee!

ps, i swear this is the last thing! i have on all three of your necklaces that i own today at one time and i must say that they look so pretty together!

Kim said...

Amen, Crystal, Amen! I love cooking and when I plan yummy meals, my husband and I eat and everyone else complains. I prepare while everyone is at school, and they even come home and say it smells yummy, but then when it is time to eat, everyone all of the sudden is on a liquid diet! And then they want cereal 10 minutes later.....ugh!!! Thank you for this post.

Bethany @ Organic Enchilada said...

Don't give up! I'll come eat your food! There really is nothing worse than Chef Boyardee. Gag. Maybe if you fed your kids the chef for a while they'd realize how good they have it! Lemon curd and chicken crepes? yes, Please!