I dread mammograms, do you? It's a yearly ritual that's tempting to avoid. But go I must, so go I do.
My mom died of breast cancer -- she ignored the yearly ritual, and a lump that was the size of a golf ball. Enough said.
So first thing this morning, I marched myself into the ugly brick building that houses the mammogram center, signed the brown clip board and took a seat on the orange vinyl chair, with palms sweating, and heart trying to stay calm.
There's something about having your girls smashed between two pieces of metal that makes me a little nervous . . . okay, a lot nervous. Once, about 16 years ago, I got a technician that said "I'm sorry, I'm just not getting a good read on this because your tissue is too dense." She said it 4, I repeat, 4 times, tightening the vice, each time she said it. Having your size 36 D boobs completely flattened isn't something you want to experience over and over again within a 10 minute period, trust me on this one. I left the office that day feeling the way an orange must feel when it has been squeezed to death and wondered if my mis-shaped "girls" would ever need another bra.
Today's experience was a little better, there was only one moment of searing pain. As the technician was tightening away, she told me that a woman had recently come in for her mammogram dressed as a clown -- she worked as a clown and was on her way to a party. That visual was just too funny. I laughed so hard I needed to bend over, but I couldn't because I was trapped. I'm mean, who in the world wears a clown suit to get a mammo?? A working woman, that's who. Sometimes you do what you've gotta do, right?
I left today feeling pretty good knowing that I wouldn't have to do this again for another year. I hope I get the same technician on my next visit. She was nice.
I think all mammogram centers should have See's chocolate truffles waiting for you when you are done. Because if you ever needed a treat, mammogram day is the day. Just sayin.
Have you had your yearly checkup yet? If not, I advise you to suck it up, and do it. If a busy clown can make time, so can you. But, on appointment day, take a candy bar with you -- You'll need the comfort of chocolate to aid your recovery.