Thursday, September 9, 2010

The Name Game

I'm sitting in the food court of the San Diego International Airport with my laptop and a McDonald's cheeseburger. I'm surrounded on all sides by businessmen with computers and cell phones. Everyone looks so professional -- serious faces, serious conversations, and computer screens full of spreadsheets. And then there's me snapping pictures of my McDonald's bag while blogging. Where are all the young college people -- the Facebookers, and web surfers? I feel so out of place sitting here with all these worker bees.

I shut off my computer and mosey down to the gate. There in the pleather chairs sits a herd of senior citizens all waiting for the flight to Utah. It's so funny. There isn't a young person in site. Are these the early birds -- the people who arrive 2 hours early as instructed by the airport authorities? I'm one of them, so I can't mock them too much. I was here promptly at 11:00 -- my flight leaves at 1:00. I'm guessing that all the cool people arrive fashionably late.

I sit down next to an Indian couple, and a man with curly hair that looks a little like my old neighbor wearing a wig. Suddenly, all of these men come walking up to Curly Hair. One says "Hey man, I just love what you do. You are amazing!" Curly sheepishly smiles and says "Thanks, I love what I do too." Then another guy says "Where you headed?" Curly says "There's a race in Utah this weekend." The fans all nod. One old man pats Curly on the shoulder and says "Hey good luck. I'll be rootin' for you." Then someone else says "Can I have your autograph?" Curly pulls out a pen and begins to write.

As Curly is writing, I lean over to one of the groupies and ask "Who is that guy?" Because, of course, I want to be in the know if I'm sitting next to someone famous. I might want to chit chat or sneak a picture with my phone.

The groupie whispers "That's Boris Said the race car driver!" But this is what I heard:

Morris Set the race car driver!

Well, as you can imagine, I am not a NASCAR or road racing enthusiast, so I had no interest in pulling out my phone or making friends. I let the old men have all the glory. But, Matt is a huge fan of racing -- as you might recall, he has secret dreams of becoming a race car driver himself. So I sent him a text that said "Hey, guess who I'm sitting next to in the airport --
Morris Set, the NASCAR driver!"

Matt replied "Never heard of him. Did you get his autograph?" I found it funny that he thought I should ask for an autograph when he didn't know who Morris Set was either.

Just as I had suspected, a large group of young people showed up just as we were about to board the flight. It was a bumpy, knuckle gripping ride. It makes me a nervous wreck. I have to close my eyes and think happy thoughts --- raindrops on roses, and whiskers on kittens kind of stuff.

When we landed, I made my way over to the rental car area, along with Curly. As I stood there in line, I learned that I am pretty deaf and need to pay more attention when people are whispering important information. Curly approached the counter, and the Budget Rental Car staff (all women) totally recognized him. One said Hey
Boris, can I have your autograph! That's when I figured out that Morris was really Boris -- Boris Said.

Good thing I never uttered a "Good luck Morris" tiding while we were sitting next to each other. It could have been embarrassing for both of us.

When I got to my hotel I called Matt. I said "Well, Morris Set is really Boris Said." Then Matt said "Ohhhhh, Boris Said, the French road racer! (See, I knew he would know.) We laughed.

Then Matt said "Hey Penny Marshall called you to see if you could teach Sunday school this weekend, but I told her you were out of town."

I said "Do you mean
Margie Marshall our neighbor??? We both started laughing again and Matt said "Well, I watched an episode of Laverne and Shirley last weekend so I think I blame it on that!"

Whatever the reason, I'm glad I'm not the only one who has issues with names.


Eunice said...

I would never have recognized Boris either. In fact, I think I would have steered clear of him - he's a bit scary looking!

The hearing and name thing has inspired a future blog post. Aren't you excited to find out what it will be!?!

Kristi said...

so funny! (no clue who he is!- I always thought I could probably walk by a star, and not have a clue. - I emailed wendy, and she said I should be getting my pictures next week, but you can still bug her!)