Monday, February 14, 2011

Je T'Aime

I've read pages of comments today on Facebook about Valentine's Day.  Why do so many people hate it???  I guess it has something to do with the absence of romance -- being alone, or being dumped, or not having a boyfriend. Before I got married, I was single a long, long time and those years included all of the above.  And yes, it was not fun sitting in the office watching people walk by with dozens of roses, and gigantic stuffed teddy bears (which by the way I despise).  One year I even burst out crying right at my desk.  The guy who sat across from me didn't know what to do -- he ended up buying me lunch at Rubios, which was so nice of him.  I was 32 at the time and I had just broken up with my boyfriend of 3 years.  There was definitely an absence of romance, and absence of him.  It was ultra lonely and I felt sorry for myself.

I learned a great lesson then -- Valentine's Day is not just about romance, and if you have high expectations in that regard, you are setting yourself up for a big letdown.  Valentines Day is about expressing love.

Once I stopped focusing on what I didn't have -- a boyfriend, romance, a giant teddy bear with a big bow and a card . . .  and looked at what I did have -- wonderful friends, roommates, co-workers, parents, siblings, and nieces and nephews, Valentine's Day changed.  I began looking outward instead of inward.  I spent the day thanking people, and let them know what I loved about them.  It helped.  I felt happy, and I didn't feel alone.

So to those of you who are feeling bad because you don't have a significant other to buy you some chocolates -- stop feeling sorry for yourself, and get out there and have fun.  Do something for the people you love, and that includes the person who hands you a diet soda at the drive-thru every day.

I love Valentine's Day.  Love, love, love it.  (Did I say "love" enough times to make my point??)  I even give a valentine to the mail carrier, who sometimes delivers my mail to my neighbor across the street.

I love making red velvet cupcakes and delivering them to friends.  I love ringing the doorbell . . . and running (which, by the way, I do alone because my kids no longer think it's cool).

Most of the time . . . I get caught before I can get in the car and drive away.

I love making a special Valentine's Day dinner for my family, complete with an annual letter for Claire, Matt and Eden -- even if they don't  do anything for me, which happens now and then.

I love the dinner conversation which usually ends up with everyone laughing their heads off. Tonight Claire was the target of the humor.

Eden said "And by the way Claire, I loved how you took that box of Laffy Taffy valetines that Mom bought you to hand out to your friends at school, and ate the whole package while you watched TV. You didn't even try to sneak!"

Claire said "The candy was going to get eaten regardless of who does the eating. Besides, no one hands out valentines."

Crystal said "So if I call all your friends and ask if they handed out valentines, they are all going to say "no"?"

Claire said "Well..... you can't count any of those people!"

Matt said: "Some day, this is going to make an awesome story to tell at your wedding dinner."

What's not to love about Valentine's Day??


Genevieve said...

I love, love, love this post. I totally agree with it all.

Daphenie said...

Thanks so much for the yummy cupcakes. made my Valentines Day even better!!

Kristi said...

oh Crystal, I wish I was your neighbor! yum!

Bethany @ Organic Enchilada said...

Every Valentine's Day Hater in the world should be made to read this post. My husband brought flowers to his mom, who is a widow and sometimes very lonely. She thought they were for me and was so surprised when he handed them to her. That was an awesome Love Day gift for me - to see my husband treat his mother well.

Bobette said...

Thanks so much for thinking of us on Valentines!! We loved the cupcakes and Syd looks so cute in your picture :) Thanks for being so awesome!!