Thursday, April 14, 2011

The Easter Canker

What's your favorite Easter Candy?  These are mine . . . .

Brach's Malt Ball Robin's Eggs -- can't find them anywhere in Temecula.  Believe me, I've searched high and low.

Last week I mistakenly purchased an imposter from Walmart.  It was a big disappointment when I bit into one.  Nasty fake white chocolate on the outside that tasted like wax.  Semi-fake malted milk in the inside, that did not dissolve as a malt ball should.   Not one person in my family would eat them, even Elphie.  No wonder they were only ninety-nine cents a bag.

I finally had to settle for Whoppers, but they just aren't the same.  The colors aren't as brilliant, which is disappointing if you want to do this . . .

The pink, yellow, and white eggs, don't work.  What's the fun in that!  You can't get a decent photo with just one color.   No pink cheeks, or yellow eyeshadow.  So sad.  Actually, if I'm being truthful, the Whopper pink looked great on Claire.  I told her she should keep a few in her purse for emergency lip stick touch-ups.

Robin's Eggs provided hours of entertainment when I was a little girl.   What kid doesn't like putting on lipstick?  On Easter evening, I ended up with blue stained ultra chapped lips, which is what happens if you spend too much time admiring malt ball handiwork the mirror.  Candy coating isn't meant to condition lips.

The worst part . . . the horrible cankers you get inside your mouth if you eat more than 5.    Who stops at 5?  I don't.  These babies are addictive.  In fact, I had to cut myself off last night, and throw the bag in the outside trash can.  You don't know how tempted I was this morning to go dig it out.   Sad, I know.

Hence, the reason I limit my malt ball intake to once a year -- Easter.  You know what that means . . .  a visit from the Easter Canker, the evil companion of the sweet little Easter Bunny.

What is it about a malt ball that eats away at your flesh?  It's pretty miserable, huh!  Especially when you are chewing and accidentally bite the canker, which it makes it last twice as long as it should -- sometimes even longer, if you keep biting that same spot, which is what always happens to me.  That Easter Canker hangs around until Memorial Day!

Curse you malted milk goodness.  I love you, and I hate you all at once.

P.S.  If you want to get some great photo's of your kids -- you need to hunt down Brach's Robin's Eggs.  If you hit paydirt, let me know where to find them, will you?

P.S.S.   It's my birthday tomorrow!  In celebration of #52, I am launching a linky party for anyone who loves messing around with a camera.   Check it out and make sure you link up!!!  There might be prizes involved!


tomiannie said...

Oh, I knew what you were talking about the second I saw your pic. Those babies are like crack around here. After going through the 4th bag that was supposed to go in the Easter baskets, I finally hid them (from myself and the hubs) in the closet.

I too bought a bag of the yucky ones by mistake this year. Bleck.

But I do really like the Whoppers ones -- I like to suck the malted part out, which leads to tongue problems as well as cankers. But oh how I love them.

Kristi said...

I learned that lip trick from my roommates at Ricks. so fun. I love the cadbury cream eggs, and mini eggs. I have a big bag of those in my cupboard- I can't open them until easter, or else they won't even make it to easter. so delish! I have a bag of bulk malted eggs in the cupboard too- I know the kids have eaten some of those- might have to taste test them today.

Jenni said...

ummmm, LOVE those too! a definite must have for our easter baskets around here!

you and claire are adorable i tell ya!

those cankers come out for me on butterfingers too!

ok, so did the picture thing disappear? i have the perfect one to enter from this week, as i am slowly going through the 3000 that i snapped! i was going to enter it right after i got your email, but now that you said prizes my ears are definitely perked up!

Jenni said...

oh yeah...happy birthday tomorrow! i will be back to tell you then too, but wanted to sneak one in now!

Bethany @ Organic Enchilada said...

Definitely going to watch for those! Tomorrow is my anniversary! Great day for celebrations, if I might say so. As long as your taxes are done. (Gulp.)q

Eve said...

Greg was searching for those at walmart the other day, too. I guess I don't love those as much as you, I've never gotten a canker from them? I'm more of a reese's peanut butter egg girl, myself. (I just made my stomach growl.)

Sonya@Beyond the Screen Door said...

Took me a minute to catch on to the title! LOL! I'm still lamenting the fact I didn't buy enough Girl Scout mint cookies that I haven't even thought about Easter candy. Going to have to look for some of these!

AMCutler said...

My all time favorite! Lips and all. I can't have Easter without getting sick on them.

meg duerksen said...

they are my favorite too.
there is an open bag in my purse right now.
i love them.