Tuesday, May 24, 2011

A Letter to My Daughter, Away at Wilderness Camp.

Hi Claire!

I decided to get up early this morning to watch the sun rise.   Seeing the sun come up makes me feel feel connected to you knowing that you are probably watching it too.  It's not easy backpacking is it?  I bet your pack weighs as much as you do.  Are you having fun?  I bet you have already learned some wicked outdoor skills.  I can't wait to see them.

It is cold again today.  And raining.  I'm always so surprised when it's this cold in May.  It seems like we should be in the early phases of hot, and here we are, still wearing sweaters.   This morning the sky was full of clouds which was a little disappointing.  It was raining lightly.  I went outside in spite of the rain and brought along my camera to see what I could see.

I wandered around the yard, bent down close to the ground and looked.  I used to do this a lot when I was little, during nature walks with my grandma.  We went on a trek every time I went to her house.  Some of my favorite memories are my wanderings with her.  We looked up, and we looked down; we peeked inside the nooks and crannies of trees and moss.  There was always something to marvel.   I remember standing with her under the cover of a blossoming willow, looking up at a nest of baby Robins.  I will never forget that moment, being engulfed in all that pink.

I think you did this with Jo Jo when she was still alive.  I'm guessing that it's one of the things you miss most about her; nature walks around the grounds of her apartment complex.

Today was no different than those days as a little girl.  There were beautiful things to observe.  It's amazing what you can find in your own back yard, if you take the time to look.  This is what I saw.

Everything looked so clean and bright.  Rain brings vibrant colors, and beautiful scents.  The wind was blowing hard.  I closed my eyes and listened, and smelled.   It felt so good to be out there experiencing the Earth.  Even Elfie was standing there letting the wind blow her mangy hair.  She had her nose in the air like she was smelling too.   I don't know what it is about making time to do that, but it is so healing.  At least it is for me.  It brings such a rush of gratitude, and spirit.  Hard to describe really, unless you've done it, and understand for yourself.  It's one of the reasons I try to make time to take a walk every day.  It helps me when I am feeling down, or stressed.  It gives me time to ponder.  You know -- stuff like "Why is that one little cloud just sitting there all alone?  It's the only one in that huge blue sky!!!" I know that drives you crazy when I ask questions like that, but I really want to know those things. 

 I heard the music of the birds as I sat there listening.  I looked up in the tree next to the drive way to see if I could spot one of them.  Sure enough, the was only one, swaying back and forth on the very top branch, rocking in the wind.  His feathers blew in such a way that it looked like he had a crew cut.

Above the bird, I saw dark, dark gray. It was just amazing how fast those clouds were moving.  When you don't take time to notice, they look like one big mass sitting still, but if you stop and look, there is so much going on, and it is so beautiful to watch.  There is dimention and pattern in constant change.

I hope that you will take time out of your day to see what the trail passes by.  Sometimes what you experience along the way is the very best part of the journey.

I love you, and miss you darling daughter!

xOXoo (Little kiss, big hug, big kiss, little hug, little hug.  Who doesn't love Nacho Libre)

1 comment:

Dyana365 said...

I don't want to be nosy but what camp is she at? Did you know that several years back I was a counselor at a wilderness camp in loa, utah. I know lots about them! Hang in there!!!