Saturday, June 4, 2011

Miracle of the Skittish Dog.

Do you ever have dreams that you are standing in a public place in your underwear?  I used to have them all the time.  It was aways in the same place -- the play ground at Highland Park Elementary School.  I spent half my dream hiding in bushes trying to find something I could wear.   I remember feeling so relieved when I woke up and realized that it wasn't really happening.  I haven't had a dream like that in a long time, thank heavens.

This morning, I had intentions of getting up early so I could take a long walk with Elphie through the neighborhood, but I stayed up to late last night and slept right through my alarm.   I woke up to the sound of Eden's voice coming from down the hall:  Don't forget that you are taking me to the Ranch this morning.  I need to leave right now!!!

I got up in a state of panic, and debated whether or not I should put on cloths instead of pajamas in case my car broke down or something.  I played it safe and put on jeans, but skipped combing my hair because I was only going to be gone for a few minutes.   So what if I looked a little insane as long as I had on jeans.  I'd be ok, right?  Except for the fact that I dyed my eyebrows yesterday, and if you've ever done that, you know that you have SUPER dark eyebrows for a few days. I went downstairs in my pajama top/jean outfit looking a little like Cruella DeVil after a night of heavy partying.

 The sound of jingling keys is Elphie's signal to come running in hopes that she might get a ride in the car.  I decided to grant her wish, and picked her up along with my purse and headed out the door.

About halfway between the Ranch and home, Eden said: I forgot to eat breakfast, can we go to Starbucks?" which is his sneaky ploy to get a chocolate frappachino.  He waits until he knows it's too late to turn back for a good old bowl of cereal.   I said: Ok, I'll take you, but I'm not going in because Elphie's a little worked up and I don't want to leave her alone in the car.   (I attribute her panic to yesterday's trip to the vet for a Rabies shot.)  So while Eden went into Starbucks alone, I sat in the car  and made a mental list of all the things I had to do today, which included a trip to the bank for a temporary debit card, while Elphie sat on my lap shaking so hard she looked like a bobble head pet.   I wondered if I could get away with running into the bank in my pajamas without seeing anyone I knew.

Once Eden had his beverage, we went straight to Green Acres and made it just in the nick of time -- for what, I do not know.  I just know Eden had plans, and they started promptly at 8:00.

By the time I waved goodbye, I had to go to the bathroom;  I failed to to that before I left the house, so I skipped the bank and went straight home.  I pulled into the driveway where Matt was working on one of the cars.

I said Hey, are you getting it fixed??

He looked at me and said: Is that a joke?

 I said: Is what a joke?

He said: Your outfit?

I said: What's so funny about a t-shirt and jeans?

Then he smiled a Grinch-like smile and said Take a look at what you've go on.

Well, I knew perfectly well what I had on.  I had on a pajama top, and a pair of jeans, which didn't look THAT bad.  And as got ready to respond with a clever retort,  I looked down . . .



What the heck!!!!!
I cannot believe that I walked out of the house looking like this!!!

Matt and I sat in the driveway and laughed our heads off for a good 10 minutes!  I think we alarmed my neighbor who was out mowing the grass.  In fact, we laughed about it all day long; random chortles that would not cease,  it was just too funny.

Thank heavens for Elphie.  She was the miracle that saved me.  Were it not for her panic, I would have walked into Starbucks this morning looking like a crazy person.  And the bank!

What I find most disturbing is that Eden didn't even notice his mother was sporting a huge bra over her pajamas!!!

I'm livin' the dream folks.  Liv. In. The. Dream.

26 comments:

Puttin' Down Roots said...

I think I just peed my pants! Oh crystal that is hilarious! And you are one brave chick posting a pic of it!! I love you!!!!!

Miss Allie said...

WOW! That's awesome. I have those dreams all the time. I've even had dreams of working in only my socks. I'm glad you didn't go in, you may have gotten more than a few odd stares.

Eve said...

Now that bra is definitely puke colored.

;)

Jenni said...

no way! i am with puttin' down roots, a little pee in my pants too! too much, can't take it....

did you ask eden if he noticed and just didn't say anything because he didn't know what to say?!

Meagan at Fairly Fabulous Blog dot com said...

OH my goodness! I'm totally dying! That's hilarious! Thanks for the smile. ;)

Genevieve said...

Crystal....Do we need to talk? LOL!!!!!!!!
I CANNOT believe Eden DIDN'T NOTICE!!!!!
You just made my day!

LibraryGirl62 said...

you...did...not...do..that...so...
funny....

Kristi said...

hahahaa. so funny.

Angie said...

Good Lord! I am laughing sooooo hard that I am crying!!! Crying!!! Hysterical!!!

Janelle said...

Oh, Crystal! Thank you for posting about that. And especially for the picture! That made. my. day.

Bethany @ Organic Enchilada said...

I'm so glad you took a picture! And I'm floored that Eden said nothing. What in the world??

Mom of the Twinkies and Tot! said...

That is hilarious! I would like to know what Eden said when you picked him up that afternoon & questioned him about it! I can totally see myself doing something this crazy! Ha!

christa @ enSTYLEpedia said...

oh my gosh- this is too good! love the picture! thanks for sharing.

Eunice said...

This could ONLY happen to YOU! Huh-larious!

Land family said...

How observant your son is! Wow!

meg duerksen said...

i died.
of laughter.
oh crystal.
this is the funniest thing i have seen EVER.
i love you for posting it.
WOW.
you have got a lot on your mind.
:)

Karen said...

OMG I had to comment! That is the funniest thing I have ever read (or seen)!!! I have never burst out laughing like I did reading this! Very cool of you to share your hilarious story... and THANK GOD you had to pee!!! Too funny!!! (Here from WHATEVER)

Gary said...

You still must be dreaming of becoming a waitress at boobs and stuff some day.

Handbags*N*Pigtails said...

no you did not! Oh my gosh, I can laugh but only bc it wasnt me. All I have to say though: it looks like a clean one. Id be horrified if people saw some of mine. It could always be worse,right?
xo

Eunice said...

Mom asked me to post this for her.

Hey Crystal,

Nice to SEE you again. Thanks for sharing. I haven't laughed so hard in a long time.

Betty

Kerry said...

oh LOL!!!!!!!!!!!! this is totally something i would do and has TOTALLY made my day! Awesome xx

Caroljeanann said...

Love it! I laughed so hard and had to share it with some friends. (Don't worry- they didn't go to high school with us.) That's better than when I put on two bras...under a shirt at least. Thank goodness for your pup and a full bladder.

DeeAnna said...

Oh man, I laughed so hard I got the snorts! Boys aren't very observant, are they.....I thought it was bad that I put deodorant OVER my shirt...twice!

AMCutler said...

You are so brave...and that is the funniest thing I have read in I don't know how long!

tomiannie said...

Hahahaahahahahaha! Wow. I now feel like, no matter how un-done I leave the house, I can alwats reassure myself that at least I haven't got my bra on over my shirt.... (as long s I check carefully before I go...)

And don't feel bad - in the past few months I gone with my shirt backwards and another time with my pants inside out. Sigh.

whitty-acres said...

Best story EVAR.