Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Case of the Missing Carts

The thing I like about Walmart . . .
you just never know what's going to happen when you visit.
Seriously, it's entertaining, no matter what the hour.

On a typical day,
the greeter is normally situated between the front door and McDonalds.
She pushes a cart in my direction and delivers the standard line:

"Thank you for shopping at Walmart!"

But not today.
Today she was standing behind a card table,
far beyond the yellow arches.
I didn't understand, until I looked to my left.

Gathered by the vast cavern that holds 500+ shopping carts
was a herd of perplexed faces attached to polyester clad bodies.

A few whispers traveled around the area --
There's no carts!  What should we do?
People starting wandering in circles,
looking a little like displaced ants.

A few brave souls, including me,
ventured back out to the 100 degree parking lot
and nabbed the stragglers shoved up on the curbs.
But even those were sparse.
I was worried a battle might ensue as I walked back inside.
But no -- the ants were still wandering around looking lost.

I hailed a manager and said
Hey, there's a big group of worried customers in the entryway, 
and no carts.
She nodded and walked away.
Typical Walmart for you.

Where did they all go?
Not the managers --
probably playing Scrabble in the break room.
Not the greeters, now behind the card table,
I'm talking about the carts.
Where. Did. They. Go???

It's a mystery.
I think I need to get Claire on the case.
She's watched enough Monk, Bones and Psych episodes to figure it out in a flash.
In the meantime, maybe you know the answer to
The Case of the Missing Carts.


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