You may be wondering that this is about. My son Eden is hilarious. He's always making funny comments -- but the thing is, he doesn't mean to be. He's usually very serious when he makes comments that I find humorous. I started writing them down when he was very little. Now he's big, and really doesn't like it that I keep track of his "deep thoughts." So, most of these are old deep thoughts, but they are funny nevertheless. You'll have to decide for yourself.
Driving in the Car -
Eden (laughing hysterically): My friend just sent me a text that said her grandma is wearing kitten heels.
Crystal: Eden, are you thinking that her grandma is wearing shoes that look like cat paws?
Eden (still laughing): Yes!
Crystal (hysterically laughing): I think you better Google that term.
Sitting at a Restaurant in Paris -
I bet people love taking the sacrament here -- the bread is awesome!
Drop Off for A Scout Camping Trip -
Crystal: Make sure you give this $20 to Jared to pay your share of the trip.
Eden: I will never understand why you pay good money just so I can experience sheer misery.
2:00 a.m. While Staying at a Cabin over Christmas -
Eden: Mom!!!! Wake up. I think I have head lice! I'm sure it's head lice. My head itches. Check my head!!!
Crystal: Eden, you are killing me! It's 2:00 a.m.!!!
Matt: Eden, the air is dry and you've been wearing a wool hat for two days straight -- they itch. (BTW, He didn't have head lice.)
Middle School Play Auditions -
Eden: Mom, what song should I sing for tryouts? Mrs. Stewart says it has to be something unique.
Claire: I think you should sing something by the Beatles -- Hey Jude!
Eden: Claire!! You are so rude!!! Mrs. Stewart is Jewish! How do you think that would make her feel!
Boy Scouts -
I die a little inside every time I hear we are working on a "Citizenship" merit badge.
I am going to be so mad if the world ends in 2012 and I spent all this time doing school work!
In the Carpool -
Eden: Guys! Guys! Look at that man! He's walking a Guinna Pig -- on a leash!!!
Paige: Eden . . . That's an overweight Jack Russel Terrier.
Around the House -
Mom! Quit following me around with that camera! It's like being hounded by paparazzi!
Conversation in the Car -
Crystal: Hey... you have a little bit of a mustache going on there Eden!
Eden: I do?? Mom, get me a razor right away. I need to get rid of it.
Crystal: Why?? Don't you think it's kind of cool??
Eden: NO!!!!! I don't want people thinking I'm a delinquent!!
During a Trivia Game -
Claire: True or false -- domesticated cats detest the smell of lemons or anything citrus.
Eden: Wow, that's weird. I wonder if foreign cats have the same problem.
Observations as we Drive to School -
Eden: "That guy walking across the street is obviously retired."
Crystal: "How do you know? He might just be taking a walk before work."
Eden: " Oh come on!! Visor, grey hair, black socks with tennis shoes, sunglasses, dog, fanny pack, Steve Erwin shorts ......RETIRED!"
On Friends -
Eden: "That Bob kid is so rough. He's always got me in a headlock or something."
Mom: "That's because he's the youngest of 4 boys. He's used to running with wolves Eden.
Eden: "Well, I still don't like it. I guess it's because I've been running with a unicorn."
On Cabins -
Eden: "Mom, if we could buy a cabin, where would you want it to be??"
Eden: "Seriously Mom, where would you want it to be?"
On Fashion -
Crystal: "Claire I like your new shirt."
Eden: "I don't. That bird graphic is way too huge. Plus, it really bugs me that Hollister would choose a pigeon as their "symbol."
On Animal Testing -
Claire: "Do you know how many animals, especially rabbits, are killed every year for testing cosmetics??? Thousands!! It's so sad!
Eden: "Why don't they just use squirrels, no one cares about those."
Observations during a General Conference Talk -
"Oh, Joseph Smith was murdered by MOBS? I thought he was murdered by angry Moms!!!! I always wondered why that didn't make sense."
On politics -
"I think if Mitt Romney loses for President, he should run for Prophet."
On loading the dishwasher -
"This is just so sickening!!!!!! Claire left a tuna fish bowl in the sink. I think I just threw up a little bit in my mouth."
"Stupid dishes!!!! Why do they have to make glass so fragile!"
On forgetting Crystal's birthday -
"Mom, don't be sad that we forgot your birthday. In 2012, you are going to have the best birthday ever!!!!! April 15, 2012 is the 100th anniversary of the sinking of the Titanic!!"
Random pet thoughts -
"Mom, can we please buy some goats for the slope in our back yard. Just think, if we had some goats, I could herd them, and dad would be so happy because he wouldn't have to mow the lawn any more."
On travel -
"Mom, what can I do to convince you go to Iceland for our summer vacation?" (He was dead serious).
On Car Travel -
Eden: Something in this car stinks!
Claire: It wasn't me.
Friend: It wasn't me.
Another Friend: It wasn't me.
Eden: I think someone in this car tooted and they just don't know it.